Satanic Fritos bag #2

Nothing bad outside of the usual happened on January 23, 2007, at least that I'm aware of. Neither did the usual bad things desist after that date.

So either January 23, 2009 is the date to watch, January 23 has no significance or I've misinterpreted its assumed meaning.

related posting
Satanic Fritos bag. December 28, 2006.

posted: thursday, february 1, 2007, 3:39 AM ET

tags: fritos satan numerology 666 13

Poetry in motion

"In Saudi Arabia, poems eulogizing Mr. Hussein have been passed around on cellphones and in e-mail messages.
'Prepare the gun that will avenge Saddam,' a poem published in a Saudi newspaper warned. 'The criminal who signed the execution order without valid reason cheated us on our celebration day. How beautiful it will be when the bullet goes through the heart of him who betrayed Arabism.' " [1]

How come my Saddam Hussein poem doesn't get passed around on cellphones and e-mails? (see The Life and Death of Saddam Hussein.) I mean, their poem doesn't even rhyme. And look how violent. It's not even their country and they want to start killing people.

Another poetic utterance. This one from Lebanon.

" 'God damn America and its spies,' a banner across one major Beirut thoroughfare read. 'Our condolences to the nation for the assassination of Saddam, and victory to the Iraqi resistance.' " [1]

OK, so it's not a poem, but it's pretty poetic. It's possibly playing on Saddam's name. ("God damn" "Sad dam.") I did that in my poem, too. ("sad-mad" "sad dam.") Their's is more powerful though. "God damn," "damn you," "fucking damn you." Pretty powerful. I just have "sad-mad," "mad-sad," "mad-sad-glad-bad." Pretty weak.

I think the Beirut utterance was also playing on "God bless America," but said "God damn America" instead.

I had an anti-American line, too. "Attacked Iran and took the blame." It's an allusion to the disastrous 8-year Iran-Iraq war of the 1980s where America supported Iraq militarily. (And Iran, too, by the way.) But it's too oblique. Nobody got it. And those that did just shrugged their shoulders and went "eh."

But I know what to do now. In future Saddam Hussein poems, no rhyming, but a strong and effective use of violence and profanity. And be more poetic.

source
The New York Times. Images of Hanging Make Hussein a Martyr to Many. January 6, 2007.

posted: tuesday, january 9, 2007, 12:03 AM ET
update: thursday, february 1, 2007, 3:43 AM ET

tags: iraq poetry saddam

Satanic Fritos bag

On December 19, 2006, I bought a 4 ounce bag of Fritos at a store in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Later that evening, I noticed something unusual about the Fritos bag. Below the price was an 11-digit number which began with the numbers 666. (The mark of the beast.)

This is something I never like to see. Several years ago I had bought some things at a store, the total came to $6.66 and the cashier burst into flames.

As I looked at the other numbers on the Fritos bag I noticed that the number 13 kept recurring over and over and over again.

The 2 digits after 666 were 13. When I added up the remaining 6 digits (2+2+3+3+3+0) the total was also 13. Below this 11-digit number was 13:30. The expiration date was Jan 23. Assuming that this meant Jan 23, 2007, when I added up the digits in a shorthand form of this date (1/23/07), the total was again 13. And at the bottom of the package where the weight was given as "NET WT. 4 OZ. [113.4 g]," I found that besides there being a 13 in the gram weight, the total of the digits in this line (4+1+1+3+4) also equaled 13.

I don't know if 13 is associated with Satan like 666, but it is unlucky. According to Wikipedia, "some Christian traditions have it that at the Last Supper Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th to sit at the table, and that for this reason 13 is considered to carry a curse of sorts." [1] Judas also betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. [2] The number 30 appeared twice on the Fritos bag. It was the last two digits in the 11-digit number and it was also in the 13:30 below the 11-digit number.

Wikipedia gives other possible explanations for the unlucky association of 13, but the Judas explanation seems the strongest, given the 666 connection on the Fritos bag. (There are also some positive Christian associations with 13 like 13 apostles, etc., so those are other possible interpretations of 13.) [1]

Also, the price of the Fritos was 99 cents. This digitally adds up to 18 (9+9), the same as 666's digital total (6+6+6).

The photographic evidence is located at the top of this posting. Judge for yourself. I await your comments. *

footnote

* I'm not sure how to interpret the Jan 23, 2007 expiration date. Maybe something bad is going to happen on that date. On the other hand, the Fritos bag says "Guaranteed fresh until the printed date." So maybe the bad omens will expire on that date. Another possible interpretation is that Jan 23 or 1/23 digitally adds up to 6 (1+2+3). Therefore, three Jan 23s equals 666. So maybe something bad will happen on the third Jan 23rd which falls on Jan 23, 2009. Or maybe the bad omens will be over on that date.

sources

[1] Wikipedia. 13 (number).

[2] Wikipedia. Judas Iscariot.

share
digg

posted: thursday, december 28, 2006, 7:51 PM ET
update: wednesday, january 3, 2007, 9:39 AM ET

tags: fritos satan 13 judas jesus 666

Do you have shame of sex?

The reason I'm asking is because I keep getting these e-mails from this person, Todd, who keeps asking me this question. Day after day. Week after week. 5, 10, 20 times a day.

As you can imagine, I was quite disturbed by this because . . . I do have shame of sex. But I didn't think it was any of his business. It was a personal matter.

So I called Todd and I said Todd, Todd, please stop sending me these e-mails. Yes, yes, I do have shame of sex, but I don't think it's any of your business, so please, please, stop sending me these e-mails.

Todd said he could send me these pills. I said I didn't want his pills. I haven't heard from him since.

But then I started getting e-mails from someone named Ollie who kept asking me if I wanted more girth.

More girth! What is the matter with these people? Don't they realize that that is the worst question you could ask someone?

No, I do not want more girth, Ollie. My god.

Terrible. Shocking.

share
digg

posted: monday, november 13, 2006, 4:09 AM ET
update: sunday, december 31, 2006, 11:28 AM ET


tags: sex shame of sex spam humor